12:30 a.m. - 2006-02-05
Tonight's Performance is brought to you by the letters B and O
"Unforgettable, that's what you are..." So began the most horrible rendition of a classic that I've ever heard. But it also descirbes the night I just had to a T.

We started off the night at Rock'N'Bowl at Kingston Bowl. Normally I'm an OK bowler, but tonight I sucked worse than Ray Charles at darts. ( Hey Frito thats not nice to make fun of the blind ) ( Oh sure it is inner conscience, you know you love it ) Basically the only thing I have to say about the bowling experience is that people should stop having kids. There were about 8 brats in the lane next to us and Sockgirlie and I had to fight the urge to knock them down with each turn! I'm officially blaming those kinds in lane 20 for my poor performance. I'm also going to blame them for the recent outbreak of avian flu. Damn Kids.

We finished up tossing our balls around ( hehe ) and headed to a bar called the End Zone in East Greenwich I think it was. Now any of you who know Frito, know that he generally runs and hides from bars with sports themed names for obvious reasons. We walk in and I was immediately ready to leave. The place reeked of Designer Imposters, stretch pants, and Slim Jims, in other words Possibly Homeless Straight people!! After a little coaxing the crew managed to get me to stay. I should have noticed that we practically had to cross the River Styx, not the band, that would have been awesome ( COME SAIL AWAY ), to get inside.

Karaoke starts, and is run by a man who actually calls himself, RAM. He looks like a cross between Neil Young and Meatloaf. He's like creepy nice. Like dead bodies in the basement and freezer kinda guy. I immediately was intrigued. My previous attempts at karaoke had mostly been in front of more accepting crowds, so this was going to be interesting.
After Andy Masterfully handled Love Stinks, and Pam and Lucy broke out No More Tears, little old me goes for the Barry Manilow. That's right I whipped out America's favorite closeted singer/songwriter/cadaver. The locals we not amused. Lynching was moments away.

I ended up being kept stab-wound free, and actually manages to knock off a Billy Joel tune, and a kick ass duet with Sockgirlie "With You I'm Born Again" before the night was through. Overall, a great frightening time. RAM actually shook our hands when we left. Purell was immeditaly applied.

Hop on over to sock-girlie's blog for some great pics of the night and I'm sure a great description of the woman with the bird shit jacket and the toilet paper on her shoe. Thank God I'm gay ladies and gentleman or I would have had a hard time resisting that beaut.

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