12:37 p.m. - 2006-05-09
A big Mac, Mc DLT and a side of Braiiinnnss....
Horror fans look no further. To have the most harrowing moment of your life visit the McDonald's on Warwick Ave in Warwick after midnight.
D and I visited the other night hoping to grab some yummy cheeseburgers. Instead we got pure terror. Why you ask? Well I'll tell you why..... zombies work there.
Let me explain. We were first "Greeted" by the voice on the ordering console type thingy. I asked for a Big Mac meal. I was promptly scolded in the most monotone, even worse than Ben Stein voice, that I could only get value meals numer 2-9. ( Big Mac is #1 for all you skinny people ). Apparantly Big Macs must not be consumed after hours in what I'm guessing is some Mogwaii related issue. I then proceed to request just a plain cheeseburger ( but without those nasty ass pickles that ruin my joy ). Again the robotic zombie voice cuts me off saying " YOu can only get value meals 2-9!" I thought a cheeseburger would be easier to make but no. We end up ordering and are told to drive to the first window.
We are the only car in line. At window #1 A huge black lady with no soul takes my money. No smile, no expression, no Grimace... ( get it.... Grimace?? ) just tells me to drive to the next window.....which she proceeds to limp over to. Why use two windows?? Only the zombies know.
What happens next?? A lareger than life Amazonian huge huge huge bitch comes from behind the counter with a head of crazy curly red Annie type hair, a lazy eye, and teeth worse than Jaws. Best part? She's limping and scurrying along just like a zombie in any movie you've ever seen. Go ahead, practice yourself right now, I guarantee you've got it dead on.
D proceeds to look at me and of course in his usually innaporopriate response.. "Braaaiiinsss...."
Perfect.
I was so scared I forgot to request that nectar they call Sweet and Sour sauce. Be forewarned.
�
�
